The mind knoweth not what the tongue wants. The New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell (author of “The Tipping Point” and “Blink”) delivers the quip in a very funny monolog about spaghetti sauce and determining tastes, and he figures in the story of Talia Milgrom-Elcott, 31, program officer for the Carnegie Corporation of New York, and Aaron Dorfman, 35, director of education at American Jewish World Service. On their first date, they went to hear Malcolm Gladwell speak.
Before that, they could have met during the 2001-02 school year when they overlapped at Harvard but it didn’t happen. When Aaron started his graduate studies at the Kennedy School of Government, Talia was graduating the Law School. She earned her undergraduate degree there and her law degree (both magna cum laude). As bright as Talia is, she couldn’t find the right man. Her dad, Dr. David Elcott, stepped in. Father knows best.
How they met – by Aaron and Talia
It wasn’t until Talia’s father joined the board of American Jewish World Service that they connected. After Talia’s father gave Aaron a ride to the Board meeting and Aaron gave a particularly good presentation, or so the story goes, Talia’s dad called Talia at work to tell her he had met someone “edgy.” “You’ve been saying that all these guys you’re meeting are interesting on paper but not really edgy,” he started. “I know someone I think you should meet – He’s edgy.” With this he paused. “He has earrings.” It was the first (and only) time he tried to set her up.
After a brief email correspondence, Aaron and Talia met on a cold February night, for Gladwell’s lecture and, afterwards, sushi.
They knew this was different. Within a few weeks, they were seeing each other exclusively. By late spring, they were talking about moving in together. By fall, they had decided that, when they were ready to get engaged, they each wanted to propose to the other. Talia proposed first. Aaron followed up a few weeks later, just as the last brightly colored leaves were falling, on a surprise trip to a small town along the Hudson River where they had hiked together before. They both said yes. Enthusiastically. It was almost eight months to the day that they had met.
They knew from the start that they wanted their wedding celebration to feel different, more like a big family celebration than a formal event, fun and festive but at the same time elegant. So they went about recruiting friends and family members to take part:
They decided to get married in the gardens and on the lawn of Talia’s parents’ home. As officiant, they chose Shira Stutman, a close friend of Aaron’s who was finishing rabbinical school.
The husband of a colleague of Aaron’s was the bass player on Bruce Springsteen’s Seeger Sessions tour, and he, along with a group of his band-mates from that tour, became the Zydeco wedding band.
The invitations were designed by Talia’s friend, who had recently graduated from the graphic design program at Yale. With her encouragement, they left behind the traditional invitation and instead told the story of their relationship in the form of a little book, which, annotated by the story of two circles, became their invitation.
The chuppah was made of a prayer shawl that Talia made for Aaron and was hung from four birch wood poles, cut down (legally, they were told) by Aaron’s father from woodland in northern Minnesota where Aaron and his dad used to fish.
And they created a family foundation, housed at the New York Community Trust, which they called the Talia and Aaron New Family Tzedakah fund, to provide guests an alternative to giving gifts.
With these words from their Ketubah, in the presence of family and friends, they entered into a mutual covenant:
On the 10th of Sivan, corresponding to the 27th of May, 2007, in the City of White Plains, New York, Talia, the daughter of Shira and David, and Aaron, the son of Glenn and Janet, celebrated their choice of each other as lovers and partners.
Embraced by their community and guided by Jewish tradition, the bride Talia said to Aaron, her heart’s choice:
“I have found the love of my soul: I will hold him and not let him go . . .
Let me be a seal upon your heart like the seal upon your hand.”
(Song of Songs)
And Aaron the groom in turn said to Talia, the choice of his heart:
“I will betroth you to me forever
And I will betroth you to me in righteousness and justice
In loving-kindness and compassion
And I will betroth you to me in faithfulness.” (Hosea)
Mazal tov.
http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c353_a4557/Jewish_Life/Jewish_Life.html
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